SEX LIFE FOR COUPLES WITH KIDS IS NO GAME.........

Yeah,yeah.I know you may think at 1st that this Mum seems to have a "green"(in the Filipino context) or "blue" (in the Aussie context) mind coz she dared to mention a topic that can intrigue some...& excite others,he he.

But let's face it,sex will always be an issue no matter when & how it is discussed,ok?Even among the so-called "holy" or "morally right" people,there's not a time,not even once a year,that passes by without them talking about things that doesn't touch on this topic.

And right now,what ill try to discuss is how it affects some couples,young or not so young,who had kids under the age of 10.

It's always a wonder why couples who were able to have their sweet private time during the early years of marriage suddenly can't even find a place to share intimate moments together once the kids started to come by.Although based on my experience,there will be days that whilst the hubby's 'appetite' was on high,my batteries were already 'flat' for spending all day with screaming,clingy kids who always wanted a piece of Mummy all the time.Plus the worry that Dad may be too tired already when he comes home that he may end up sleeping instead of giving innuendos on some days that even if it's my engines who are rarin' to go,i just assume that he wanted to have his rest,only to find out the day after that he was just waiting for me to make a move,lol!Or there will be days too that just as we're revvin' up our love machines,one of the kids will either cry his or her lungs out or take a sneak peak in our room.

Ha ha,i know,having kids who are too young  to understand that Mum & Dad do need some "play time" themselves can be hard,i tell you!And with 10-year old kids (we have a son about that age),the worries about their curiosity & where it will lead them can really distract any thinking parents if ever their children will see them doing their thing.

But one sad thing though is that some couples either tend to give up & leave their intimate time till later or drop it all off in their agenda & find themselves dissatisfied,lonely,thinking that the other partner is giving more priority to their children than them etc.So in comes the arguements,the suspicions,being short tempered at the kids & other minor(& sometimes major) issues that can rise simply because they can't find enough time for their passion with the spouses.

Ain't it right?I know,coz aside from what i hear & read,i also happen to know some couples who had that sort of dilemna.And mind you,if it's hard for a couple with just one or two kids alone,what more if you had 4 (like me) or even more?

But i guess that discussing the matter with the spouse in a frank,no-holds barred way can be a step into the right direction if you want to have the bedroom excitement back in your lives.Being open to your needs & that of the partner may lead to more creative ways on how you can spend time with each other again.You can either plan for a weekend away from the kids & go somewhere else where there's just the two of you (nah,the motel is not just the only place you can go to do it,but is'nt it nice to have an easy option?LOL!!).

I can suggest other places plus ways of doing it so but i don't want my blog to be censored,he he he.Besides,self-help books & blogs from relationship experts abound even on the Internet.They are the specialists when it comes to advises on how to do it right & still enjoy the company of your children whilst having fun as husband & wife.It's worth giving these a try as well.

Speaking of which,gotta leave now,hubby's home.Wish me luck,,,,,, -_^ v!!!

DISSECTING THE SONG "EBONY AND IVORY" MY WAY...

These past few weeks,i keep on singing one particular 80s tune on most mornings.I can't find a sane,reasonable explanation as to why i do so,it just came to me.

The song in question is Sir Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder's "Ebony and Ivory".

I don't understand why all of a sudden i had the urge to sing it specially when im doing my usual home routines.It wasn't even on my list of all time favourite 80s hits though i consider this as one of the great songs of its time.And boy i do love Sir Paul & Stevie too.

So in my quest to find out what came over me,i tried to analyze the song itself.

For one there's the obvious referrence to the collaboration of two world-known artist from different racial groups (Paul McCartney an Englishman & Stevie Wonder of Afro-American origins) & their plea for people of different skin colors & races to coexist peacefully,as explained by the first stanza:

"Ebony and ivory
Live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard
Oh Lord,why don't we?"


Trying to view things outside the box so to speak,i went on to the second stanza.

"We all know that people are the same
Wherever we go
There is good and bad in everyone".

Now this time it's making more sense,at least to me.We always tend to look at people based on their racial background,ethnic group,educational achievements,life status etc.and base our judgment of them and their character from there.Which should not be the case but whether we admit it or not,there's the tendency for most of us to think that way.

This thought made me feel gulity as i do tend to think in a similar way towards people.Now i am starting to see why i started to like the song mentioned in this note in a way that i never did before.It feels like another divine message telling me softly to change my ways and have a more broad mind in my interactions with people.Some people may hurt you unintentionally by just them being themselves,some may do so intentionally by pretending to be somebody they're not.Either way,respect, patience,forgiveness & proper understanding of the human nature seems to be the key in dealing with this without hurting yourself in the progress

.Hence the last stanza made its message clearer to me as well:

OUR LI'L BUBBY HAILEE

I just realized that not only had it taken me a while to get back to my Blogspot page,i hadn't announced here that i was about to give birth to another baby girl as well.So better late than never as most people would say,i'd rather write something about her now.

June 26,2009,at round 9 am,Bob & i were on the delivery room.I'm about to have an elective Caesarian operation for the 3rd time with my 4th baby.Within to less than 2 hours later,that lovely bundle of joy had emerged from my tummy & boy,isnt she such an angel.There had been a bit of a problem at 1st as she sort of nearly drowned from all the fluids she had whilst still inside my womb but after about an hour & when all of the necessary cleaning had been done,she was brought beside me for her 1st ever breast feeding.

We named our new child Hailee Mae,Hailee because we had first thought of spelling her name as Hayley but changed it at the last minute so it will sound a bit unique (& hubby also thought of hail/hale storm as well,he he he!)& Mae because one member of the husband's family tree (a grand-aunt i think) had it as a 2nd name,just to keep up with the European tradition of honoring a relative by giving their 1st or 2nd name to a child within the family.And much to our expectation,she had been so far our "low-maintenance baby".We thought it so because she had been the most placid baby that we had from the time she was born.The only time you'll hear her cry was when she 1)is hungry 2)had a dirty or wet nappy 3)hungry(of course,LOL!) 4)when she don't feel well and now 5) when Mum &/or Dad ignore her.Other than that,you feed then bathe her & put her in a safe place around the house & she'll be happy & contented.

Im having a bit of trouble right now in keeping jealous big sister Leiah's hands away from her specially if they sit together in the double pram .Yah,sibling rivalry so to speak.You see,Leiah had been so used to the idea that she is THE baby of the family(& Daddy's little girl too) then suddenly Hailee came.But im sure she'll overcome it.My sons Angelo & Kyrel adore their baby sister though.

Bed time was never a problem with our bubba,except on some days when she's either ill or wanted more attention before she sleeps.She'll sleep through the night & greet you with a smile as soon as she wakes up& another thing that cheers me up every morning is the fact that she had been awake & playing even before i check her when i wake up!And oh yes,she's so much her Mummy's girl.She clings to me so much it even make her Dad a bit jealous,ha ha ha!But she's now enjoying her Daddy's company as well(then return to my arms as soon as she sees me,LOL!)

At 8 months she's now at the stage of trying to talk & putting everything she can grab in her mouth so we all have to be careful & watchful as well.She also crawls now & boy how she does it!She can crawl really fast,forwards & backwards.Yes,she's into solid foods as well.For now she loves eating custard & that pumpkin & sweetcorn tinned baby's food.She also eats eggs & mashed potatoes as well.

Yeah,early days still.So much might change a few months from now.But i'll just seize the moment & enjoy my lovely li'l bubby whilst she still had her adoring eyes on me.

GLAD I FOUND MY WAY BACK HERE!

Been away for a while from this blogsite of mine.So much had been happening around here aside from our personal issues,which took most of my time & attention & drained my thoughts.And yeah,there's also the issue of forgetting my password,he he he!

But now im back,& hopefully i can make this blogsite more meaningful & with proper sense.

That's it for now,BRB soon when the creative juices come in full force(& if i can find enough time to escape from my homey routines,LOL!)

ANYBODY HERE WATCHING "COLD CASE"?

Well,obviously i do,he he.I don't normally patronise or even follow foreign shows & programs until i set foot here in Australia.Since we're not that keen in subscribing to either Foxtel (not that much choice for channels plus it can hurt the family budget) or TFC (no thanks, am not a big fan of ABS-CBN),i was stuck with whatever programs that free TV can offer here in Queensland.

It took sometime before i got used to it but then i discovered that it's worth it.For one,at least there's still the option of choosing programs that appeal to my taste and the ones that the whole family can enjoy without being bombarded by more than 10 minutes of TV ads plus there's more to TV here at least than the usual teleseries,gossip shows & dramas you'll normally find in Philippine TV programs.Plus,if you're someone who likes documentaries like me,they have & show documentaries here in Australia at an earlier time,no need to wait till 11:30-12 mn before you can watch even a single one in a day.

And now for some of the shows that had fascinated me,most of all the one im about to talk about.

I may not be as keen as watching TV every night & even during weekends as Bob does but i do follow some programs here like Swift & Shift Couriers(an Aussie comedy about a courier service company who had the most dysfunctional staff you can ever find),4 Corners(an ABC documentary that features & focuses on a certain issue every week),reruns of the late 80's & early 90s British hit comedy series Red Dwarf,Top Gear the British version(boy how i like the way Jeremy Clarkson bitches about cars he didnt find fascinating,he he),NCIS,CSI New York and the top 2 which i must admit i do try to follow every Wednesday,House MD at 8;30 pm on Channel 10 and of course,Cold Case on Channel 9 at 9:30(it's actually a CC double episode every week).

The fascination about Cold Case started as soon as im able to watch a few episodes whenever i took control of the remote as soon as Bob falls asleep on the couch about 3-4 months ago i believe(told ya,between the 2 of us he's the TV freak,he he).I love not only the way they solve each cases that had been dormant for years & even decades ago but the way they look at each & every angle of the story as told by all the people involved,even the agents themselves.I also love the way it touches the story behind the crime,the human side so to speak,from both sides,particularly the loved ones who were left behind by the deceased.One episode that hit me was the one where 4 out of 5 sons of a single mom from a black neighborhood were killed in seperate years by one heartless Latino thug over a scooter which they treasure coz as the youngest & only survivor among them said,"it's not just a scooter"It was given at his school as a reward of sort from an essay contest that he won.What made me feel this particular episode was when the senior case officer who handled the case of the 1st 2 murdered brothers told the then newly recruit Lily Rush that it was another case of NHI(no human involved) simply because the victims were black kids in a rather violent neighborhood.My thoughts went,"so,is that reason enough not to be that keen about solving their murder?Because they were blacks that's why they're considred as NHI?WTF".

Another unforgettable episode(for me at least) was the one where a female news reporter from the 80s was killed in cold blood by being choked with her own scarf.Turns out as the story unfolds that she was actually killed by her own mentor/friend after she discovered a case of asbestos poisoning that had been going on for years & the company owners tried to cover up thru red tape & a host of other anomalous dealings,news blackout included.The discovery could have spelled as a big break in her then blooming career but she's more eager to let the truth come out.That costed her her life but when it was discovered nearly 30 years after her demise,the web of deception came crashing down as well.It sort of touched me in a way coz here in Australia,one person died fighting the company he used to work with when he got sick from all the asbestos that got into his body after all the years that he had worked there.Medical tests had proved his claims but he died long before the verdict was handed down in his favor.This particular episode also made good use of the Tears for Fears hit song "Shout" coz some of the lines speaks so much of how the story unfolded.

I can tell of other good Cold Case episodes that ive seen so far but all in all,though they claim in the opening credits that their stories are fictional, we all know by now that most storylines made for TV & the movies were based on real events.And this TV show does a great job at weaving their stories together to come up with something that really hit hard & make us think outside the square.As of now they never fail to deliver the goods so to speak every week.Even if i miss some episodes i sure can never get enough of Cold Case no matter what.

YM MESSAGE WARNING:HAVE YOU RECEIVED THIS FROM A YM CONTACT LATELY?

If so,& if you ever see this or similar message(s) from one of your contacts at Yahoo Messenger DON'T,ill say DON'T ever assume that it came from them,neither try to click on the link that goes with it.It is either a virus or a bot or anything sinister from the Internet , most probably for identity theft purposes.

In case you are unable to read the message from the screen shot i posted here,it goes like this:

"Howdy.I just spoke to Becca and Brice and they told me to check out some pills they found on Oprah.They said they lost about 23 pounds in about amonth with them.Anyway you can find it here for only $5 http://muchrule.com"

(that's how the message appeared;i copied them verbatim).

I don't know how they managed to use my YM ID to send this message to my friend Helen,but im thankful that not only is she aware that such kind of messages will never come directly from me but she took the time to send the message via screen shot to me this morning that's why im able to show it to y'all.

I've already had similar experiences before with the perpetrator(s) using the YMs of 2 of my relatives(in the last incident the perpetrator(s) even had the nerve to buzz me as the message had been sent!).And now that it's my YM that they're trying to use to do the same thing to my own contacts,i had to post this blog so everyone will find out about this kind of scheme.

Now that you know people,be very aware.

MARTIN LUTHER KING'S SPECIAL AT OPRAH

About a day or two i think after Barack Obama had been sworn in at the White House,i tuned in to Oprah one afternoon & saw that they featured a tribute of sort for Rev.Martin Luther King,the famous black preacher who made the "I Have A Dream" speech,aptly titled "The Dream Lives:A Martin Luther King Day Special."

Of course,its not all about him.The program also featured the history of American Blacks & their journey to freedom & their fight against discrimination & racism.And it helped me realise why the word "Negro" & "Niggah/Nigger" do bring in a lot of bad blood among the brothers & sisters.

To be hanged just for being accused of doing something(it even happened among American servicemen right here on Australian shores during World War 2) or shot in cold blood in the streets simply because you're black & your white killers getting away with murder not just because of their pale skin color but because the ones in power were racist & they think the crime done is fair enough?Very wrong,but it was that way the black people were seen & treated for more than a hundred years before Dr.Luther made his famous speech.

Inter-racial marriages as illegal,unaccepted & the couples who dared go on with it anyway will be dragged out of bed,jailed & later on banished in their state??Thats what happened to the Loving couple sometime in the 60s(the woman happened to be black) but they fought back & finally the ban against inter-racial marriages was lifted off,thanks to them.

Poor kids from an isolated Afro American neighborhood almost not given the chance for a better education & most had decided that their violence,poverty-stricken place will be the way of life for them for the rest of their lives?Uh oh,not even the poorest of the poor outside America will dream of it for their children.Yet whilst some poeple think that the black people were always involved in criminal & violent acts,you may wonder who put them in such position in the 1st place.

How about taking a ferry off at Gee's Bend in Alabama simply because the blacks joined the cvil rights movement in the 60s,cutting them off from the other side of the river for 40 years?

"As Dr. King's message of freedom and equality spread throughout the country, citizens in a small Alabama town wondered if his vision would ever reach them.

For nearly 200 years, the Alabama River has separated the black citizens of Gee's Bend—a small peninsula surrounded by water on three sides—from their white neighbors in Camden. With no grocery stores, hospitals or job opportunities in Gee's Bend, residents travel by ferry to Camden for almost all their basic necessities.

In the 1960s, water was just one of many things that divided these two communities. Gee's Bend citizens joined the civil rights movement and began protesting segregation in Camden.

When they crossed the river, they were met with intimidation and intolerance. "When you leave home that morning to go march, you didn't know if you were going to make it back home or not," says Nettie, a 90-year-old Gee's Bend resident.

Hollis Curl, a former Camden judge, says no matter how hard the racists tried, they couldn't stop the growing tide of change. "Marching and demonstrating in the street and holding voting rallies…some of the movers and shakers in the county at that time wanted that stopped," he says. After one such demonstration, Judge Curl says he put 410 protestors behind bars.

Nettie says she was imprisoned for almost a week. "I went because we were marching, and they told us don't," she says. "But we did it anyway because we wanted our rights."

When Camden leaders realized they couldn't stop the protests, they stopped the ferry instead."(to read more about this & other stories featured in the program click on the link: http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/slideshow1_ss_politics/1)

So much oppression,too many basic & civil rights forbidden to them,thier human rights violated to the core by people who were supposed to be human rights advocates & protectors,all because they had been slaves & descendants of slaves,had darker skin & looked upon as less than human.Now i saw more than what i thought i know about the history of the Afro Americans.I even think they had been thru more than the rest of their other brethren elsewhere.

It was about time then for the brethren & for the rest of the "colored people" around the world as well to see an Afro American took the presidential office in the world's most powerful,influential country amidst all of the financial crisis & international chaos.At least Mr.Obama not just breathed life to Rev.King's dream but he also lighted up the dim hopes of many a people who never thought that their time will come & their voices be finally heard.